I noticed in the news today all of the reaction to Hilary Rosen's comment to Ann Romney that she had "never worked a day in her life!" and I just wanted to respond in general with some thoughts about stay at home moms and working mothers.
I am a working mom. In some ways that decision is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made and I get to make it every day as I get up and get ready to walk out the door and go to work. I won't go into the reasons why it's hard for me or why I've chosen it. Instead i'd like to comment on the differences. In many ways being a working mom is a lot easier than being a stay at home mom (I am not saying that being a working mom is actually easier than being a stay at home mom or that everybody is able to make either choice. I am saying that Mom's responsibilities are the same either way so a stay at home mom knows everything about the job necessary to understand the complexity of adding a 2nd job to it). Just looking at my mommy responsibilities on paper, it should be easier to be a working mom right? Since I work, my family has more money which allows us to live comfortably and meet our expenses and debts. I pay someone else to watch my children during the day. I've watched them myself on an occasional break and it is not easy finding activities for a 2 year old to do other than sitting in front of the tv that don't take more energy than you have to do or more creativity than you have to keep it new and interesting. I get home and I only need to take care of them for about 2 hours before it's bedtime and I can have the rest of the night to myself. I only have to make meals on nights and weekends. The babysitter tidies up before I get home so that I don't have to clean up the messes that they made with the kids during the day. Meanwhile, I get a break with real adult conversation and friendships at work most days of the week. I could continue here but I think you get the point.
Being a mom is hard work for someone. When you're a working mom it means someone else is doing the work or it doesn't get done but believe me you still feel it when it doesn't. I would argue that someone who has made the choice to be a stay at home mom has the capacity to know exactly what things a working mom is or is not getting to do for their families. Bottom line is that as a stay at home mom you barely have the time to do the things that your daily 24/7 job demands of you let alone adding a minimum of a part-time 20 hour job on top of that. I personally work a 40 hour minimum full-time job. My guess is, if Ann Romney has sat down and put any thought into what adding a minimum of 20 or 40 hours into her week would mean to the things she had to do raising 5 boys I would bet she has a pretty good idea what other working mom's are struggling with.
Obviously there are usually other factors which lead a mother to choose to work either voluntarily or out of necessity that make the job complex or more difficult than someone else's situation but you will never be able to find a candidate who has experience in every person's circumstances or walk of life. The best you can do is find someone who's done one of the hard jobs and I would argue that raising kids is one of the hard jobs any way you slice it.
Finally, regardless of any of this discussion I just want to say Go Moms! You can do it! All you can do is your best for your family and the Lord gives you strength and help to make up for any lack. You're doing great! Keep up the good work!
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